Questions To Never Ask Your Husband

Some girls,

just ask for it.

I mean really ask for it.

Honestly,

Don't go to your husband,

asking,

"Honey Does this make me look fat?"

and expect an honest answer.

One,

He's never going to look at you and go,

"Well actually yea you look like a giant whale in that outfit,

you should change."

Unless he's just a huge jerk.

Which I'm hoping he isn't!

But lets get one thing straight ladies,

there are just some questions you don't ask your husband.

And here they are.

1. Who out of all my friends do you think is the most attractive?

What are you doing here ladies,

other than setting yourself up to be pissed off.

One,

the answer is going to annoy you,

and two,

 whenever you see your hubs talking to that friend,

that's the first thing your going to think about.

2. What do you love most about me?

I get it,

men sometimes forget to tell us things we want to hear.

But don't go fishing for compliments.

Kind of pointless when you basically drag it out of him.

And what if he says something you don't want to hear,

"I love your big legs."

UHHHH,

Didn't know I had big legs,

thanks Sparky!

3.Do you want to watch real housewives tonight?

No,

No he definitely does not want to watch real housewives of any city with you...

Ever.

4. Do you have to go to guys night tonight?

I know we all want to ask this question,

but it's easier if we don't.

Unless guys night includes,

a strip club,

just smile and say I'll see ya when you get home.

He'll appreciate you letting him go. 

and,

5. Does this make me look fat?

If you are asking this question in the first place,

you kind of already think you look fat in the outfit.

That,

or your searching for compliments.

And lets go back to what I originally stated.

You aren't going to get the truth anyways ladies!

So if you're thinking about asking any of these questions,

slow your roll,

and think about it. 

It's easier just not to ask.