A Little Face and Tiny Fingers

Yesterday I went to the doctor for our 32 week checkup.

I was thinking it was going to be a quick in and out kind of visit.

Measure the baby's heart rate,

get the dreaded weigh in done.

Things like that.

Everything seemed to be going great.

I had actually lost weight at this doctor's appointment,

Which she explained was totally normal.

My swelling had gone down and the heart rate was beating at a fabulous 140 bpm.

Then my doctor stated she wanted to get me in for an ultrasound.

So I figured next time,

we would get an ultrasound done,

thinking it was to see the position of the baby.

But she sounded worried.

She didn't seem like everything was going perfectly normal.

She told me that things were a little off,

and because of measurements and a few other things that she noticed last time,

that we needed to do an ultrasound today.

So I waited.

Thinking,

What's wrong with my little man?

What is such a concern that we need to get this done today.

And of course this is the first doctor's appointment that I went without Justin.

Thinking,

"Oh this should just be a quick appointment,

no reason to take Justin along"

Once in the ultrasound room,

as I lay on the table having cool goo put on my belly,

I thought about all the possibilities.

But then everything went away in an instant,

the bad thoughts,

the worry,

the anxiety.

It all just faded when I say his little face.

Just staring at me through the computer screen.

His tiny nose,

His tiny mouth.

This little thing inside my belly was a little baby.

And just as he was taking my breath away,

he moved his little hand and stretched out his tiny fingers.

Brushing his tiny cheek.

It's true what they say,

seeing your child makes everything much more real.

I no longer thought about this baby inside my belly as,

something causing extreme discomfort,

as a little alien that made my belly move in strange ways.

But as my little baby.

My son,

My heart and soul.

Now if you are wondering what the doctor had to say about him,

well,

they said he is actually on track to be 2 weeks earlier than expected.

That our calculations and dates in the beginning must have been off.

So instead of saying we are 32 weeks,

I believe I can say I am on track to be 34 weeks.

And our little man is already over 4 pounds.

I can't wait to meet our little man.

Our little chunky butt.

And smother this little boy in kisses!